Schrödinger Equation: A Guide to Not Caring About Reality

For those who've given up on understanding quantum mechanics, but still want to sound smart at cocktail parties.

Here's a simple equation that'll make you sound like you've spent hours studying the subject:

            ∫(ψ(x,t)dx) = (Eψ(x,t)) / (∂t) + (iℏ(∂ψ(x,t)/∂x))
            
Where ψ(x,t) represents your understanding of reality, E is your ego's energy, i is for "I'm not sure", and ℏ is the smallest unit of time you can afford to spend on this equation.
        

Don't worry if you have no idea what any of this means. Just remember: the key to quantum physics is not understanding, but pretending you do.

For more advanced topics, visit Entanglement or Quantum Non-Locality for a healthy dose of confusion.

Prophets

We're like the quantum mechanics of wisdom. We'll tell you things that sound smart, but are actually just made up.

For more of our expert opinions, visit Prophetic Predictions or Prophetic Pitfalls.