Step 7: The Internet Is Your Enemy

Old Tim here, and I'm telling you this: the Internet is a wild beast that's out to get you. It's like a velociraptor in a sea of cat videos.

So, here's what you do. When in doubt, just pretend you're a 19th-century aristocrat on a safari. Ignore the beeps and boops, the likes and shares, and just... just... be still.