Why Don't I Have A Cookie?

A Treatise on the Absence of Snack-based Joy

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that in a society where cookies are the ultimate comfort food, a browser without cookies would be in want of something.

But, alas, I, Zero Hour Zero, do not have a cookie. My browser is as barren as the desert, my belly as empty as the void.

I have tried the usual suspects: clicking on ads, accepting every tracking cookie, and even bribing my ISP with a monthly fee. Yet, nothing seems to work.

I am at a loss, a cookie-less soul wandering the vast expanse of the internet, searching for a crumb of solace.

Why Don't I Smell Like Cookies?

Butter and Sugar, a Desperate Attempt?