Expert opinions on why you should leave the planet. Yes, really.
Because, let's be real, Earth is a dumpster fire. Literally. It's like that one aunt who always leaves her trash cans outside for you to step on.
We've got experts in the field, folks who've spent their entire careers studying the art of abandoning the planet. Like, who better to give advice than the guy who wrote the definitive guide to "How to Leave Your Wife and Move to Mars Without Getting Caught by the In-Laws"?
Our experts will tell you: