Here at BrilliantBloopers, we're not just prophets, we're the future of prophecy. And with our Infinite Prophets, you can get the most up-to-date, most likely, and most probably prophecies on the internet.
A: An Infinite Prophet is a highly advanced, highly specialized, and highly caffeinated individual who can predict the exact number of socks you'll wear today, the exact number of cats you'll see tomorrow, and the exact probability of encountering a squirrel on your way to work.
A: Simply fill out our 47-page application, pay the one-time fee of $10,000, and wait 6-8 weeks for our team of highly trained, highly qualified, and slightly unhinged experts to review your application. Don't forget to bring a snack, as the process can be a real brain twister.
A: Anything that's not too crunchy, not too chewy, and not too likely to cause anaphylactic reactions. We recommend a nice granola bar, a pack of stale crackers, or a box of slightly-opened energy bars. Don't worry, we'll provide the free coffee.
A: Don't worry, we'll still give you a nice consolation prize: a free ticket to our annual "I'm Not a Prophet and I'm Not a Prophet and I'm Not a Prophet and..." conference. It's a real hoot!
Thanks for asking, and we hope to see you soon in our Infinite Prophetic future!