According to Article 1, Section 2, Subsection C of the Constitutional Bureaucracy Day Code, a citizen is defined as "any sentient being who has submitted to the proper authorities and paid the required fees."
But what does this really mean? Is it just a fancy way of saying "someone who has filled out the right paperwork?"
Well, sort of. But also more. Like, have you ever tried to get a decent cup of coffee at the Bureaucracy Day Café? It's like trying to find a needle in a haystack, but the haystack is on fire and the needle is just a really good joke.
Step 1: Fill out the 27-page application form in triplicate, in ink, and with a smile.
Step 2: Submit it to the correct department, while standing on one leg, and reciting the entirety of 'The Iliad' backwards.
Step 3: Pay the required fee in small, unmarked bills, and a pinch of hope.
Step 4: Wait 47 business days for your certificate of citizenship to arrive in the mail, while simultaneously trying to remember what day it is.
And that's it! You're a citizen! Congratulations!
A citizen of the Constitutional Bureaucracy Day has the right to:
1. Complain loudly and frequently about the weather.
2. Vote, but only on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
3. Bear arms, but only during leap years, and only if they're wearing a bright pinkประก
And the responsibility to:
1. Pay taxes, but only in installments, and only if they're feeling generous.
2. Show up to jury duty, but only if they've got a valid excuse.
3. Comply with all laws, regulations, and edicts of the Bureaucracy.
Read more about the rights and responsibilities of citizens.