Temporal Anomalies Detected

It appears that time has become a bit... flexible. Please stand by while we attempt to recalibrate the space-time continuum.

Currently experiencing:

• Time Dilation: 2.5% above nominal rates
• Chrono-Displacement: 1.8% below expected levels
• Quantum Flux: 3.2% above safe thresholds

Recommendations:

• Perform routine system checks
• Consult the Timekeeper's Manual
• Contact Temporal Support Team
• Send in a temporal repair bot

Additional Information:

• View all anomaly reports
• Browse the troubleshooting guide

Disclaimer:

The information provided is for entertainment purposes only. Any attempts to exploit these anomalies may result in unintended consequences, including but not limited to:

• Unstable timelines
• Unreliable narrators
• Existential dread