Welcome to the Gravity Prophets' headquarters, where we're not just predicting the fall of civilizations, but also the impending doom of your favorite snack foods.
Our team of expert Prophets have calculated that the gravitational forces of the universe are conspiring against the stability of your pantry. That's right, folks. It's not just you, it's not just your cat, it's not just the universe. It's all of us.
But don't worry, we've got you covered. Our team of Prophets are working tirelessly to predict the exact moment when your favorite foods will succumb to the crushing force of gravity.
Want to know when your pizza will fall off the shelf? Click here to get the inside scoop.
Or, if you're feeling adventurous, check out our Gravity Prophets' Tales for more information on the ancient art of predicting the inevitable fall of all things.
Stay tuned for updates on the impending doom of:
© 2023, Gravity Prophets. All rights reserved. May your snacks be safe, but not too safe.