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Advanced Squashing Techniques

Beetle Summoning Guide

Warning: Do not attempt to summon a Beetle under any circumstances. They are known to be particularly vicious when not properly squashed.

To summon a Beetle, follow these steps:

Locate a suitable area for summoning, preferably near a large body of water.
Gather a sufficient amount of dark, foreboding materials (at least 5000 units of pure, unadulterated despair).
Perform the ancient ritual of the Squash:

Circle around the summoning area clockwise three times with your left foot.
Kneel on the ground with your right knee and whisper the incantation 'Squashus maximus, beetleus venatorus' three times.
Tap the ground with your right hand three times in a rhythmic pattern.

Remember, summoning beetles can be a delicate art. Approach with caution and a healthy dose of existential dread.