Time Dilation Headaches

Warning: Time dilation may cause severe headaches, existential dread, and spontaneous combustion.

Caused by excessive exposure to:

Please consult the Temporal Treatment Guide for assistance.

Causes

Gravitational Teleportation Syndrome: When you try to teleport but end up stuck in a never-ending loop of yourself.

Chrono Circus Carnage: When the fabric of time gets tangled in a maelstrom of color-coded chaos.

Quantum Quirks: When the laws of physics are more of a suggestion than a rule.

Symptoms

Severe headaches, nausea, dizziness, and a strong feeling of impending doom.

Disorientation, confusion, and a sense of being stuck in a time loop.

Randomly shifting perceptions of reality, like a kaleidoscope on steroids.

Diagnosis

Consult a doctor, preferably one with a time machine.

Run some tests, like a temporal resonance scan or a chrono-cardiac stress test.

Get a second opinion from a quantum physicist, but don't expect them to make sense.