Temporal Protection Amendments

Article 1: Time-Space Continuity

Any attempt to alter the timeline will be met with severe repercussions, including but not limited to:

• Immediate arrest by the Time Police
• Confiscation of all temporal devices
• Re-education in a maximum-security chrono-cell

Exceptions may be made for certified historians and time-traveling comedians, but only with prior approval from the Temporal Protection Agency.

Report a suspected timeline alteration View the full text of the Temporal Protection Act

Article 2: Temporal Immunity

Time travelers and their affiliates are not immune from the laws of physics. Any reckless use of temporal technology will result in:

• Severe radiation poisoning
• Spontaneous combustion
• Unplanned pregnancy (in rare cases)

We repeat: DO NOT USE YOUR TIME-MACHINE TO GET OUT OF DOING LAUNDRY.

Read our comprehensive guide to safe time travel