Warning: Extreme Pacing is not for the faint of heart. This technique involves deliberately slowing down the most crucial part of your day, like checking the fridge for 10 whole minutes. Yes, you'll be late to that meeting, but at least you'll have time to contemplate the meaninglessness of existence.
Also known as the "Fridge Stare," this ancient technique involves standing in front of the refrigerator, staring at it with an intensity that would put a Zen master to shame, for a solid 10 minutes.