Predestination Life Insurance - Because Fate's Got You Covered

Welcome to Predestination Life Insurance, where we've got you covered in more ways than you'd ever imagine. Literally. Our policies guarantee you'll meet your demise in a most... inconvenient time.

With Predestination Life Insurance, you can rest assured that your untimely passing will be a breeze. No need to worry about pesky things like health, safety, or happiness. Our actuaries are experts at crunching numbers, predicting the most likely ways you'll get yourself killed in a freak accident involving a cheese grater and a can of hairspray.

Don't just take our word for it! Check out some of our satisfied customers' testimonials:

Read about the unfortunate taco sauce incident that left John from HR in a most... permanent state, and how Sarah's love of sandboarding led to her untimely demise.

Meet the team of expert actuaries who'll make sure you meet your maker