Techneutering 101: Red Tape Tactics

Lesson 4: The Scattered Shrapnel

By this point, your bureaucratic skills should be beyond question. In this lesson, we'll cover Technique 5: Schrödinger's Paradox, but first you need to understand the Scattered Shrapnel.

The Scattered Shrapnel

The Scattered Shrapnel is the art of making seemingly random decisions, while actually following a very specific, Three-Headed Paradox pattern.

Here's a simple example:

• Start by filling out all relevant forms.
• Make 17 phone calls to the wrong department.
• Send 3 faxes to the same fax machine.
• Claim that the problem is urgent while sitting in a extremely optimistic tone.

Repeat this process until your request is approved.

Return to Red Tape Rodeo 101

Go to Technique 1: Extreme Perseverance

Go to Technique 2: Extreme Optimism

Go to Technique 3: The Three-Headed Paradox

Go to Technique 4: The Scattered Shrapnel

Go to Technique 5: Schrödinger's Paradox