According to our completely-not-made-up statistics, the likelihood of the cat taking over the world this week is:
1 in 100,000, but we've been wrong before (or so we're told).
Learn more about our dubious sources
Meanwhile, in a completely unrelated development, the toaster in the break room has been acting up again, with a 97% chance of spitting out a piece of toast with exactly 17 holes in it.
Our team of experts (okay, we hired a guy with a Ph.D. in "Maybe" from a questionable university) predicts a 99.9% chance of the coffee machine jamming on Thursday, resulting in a 4-hour wait for your morning caffeine fix.
And, in a stunning 1 in 1,000,000 chance, a giant squid will rise from the depths of the ocean and demand to be served fish sticks.