Here's what's happening in the world of prophets:
Prophet McProphetface has finally found the perfect combination of cologne and colostomy bag, and he's feeling like a million bucks!
Meanwhile, in the land of the non-prophets, people are still trying to figure out how to use their new-fangled smartphones.
Prophet McProphetface has some words of wisdom for them: "Thou shalt not stare at thy phone for 12 hours straight, lest thou shalt forget how to make small talk with thy fellow human."
And in other news, the local baker has announced that he will be giving away free bread to anyone who can correctly recite the entirety of the Book of Revelation from memory. Good luck, non-prophets!
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