TERMS OF SERVICE: CONSEQUENCES

Upon termination of your account, you will be subjected to an intense, existential crisis.

You will be forced to reevaluate your life choices, and question the very fabric of reality.

A team of highly trained, yet sadistic, accountants will review your transactions with a fine-toothed comb, searching for any discrepancies.

Don't worry, it's all part of our commitment to TERMINATION PROTOCOL!

Warning: Do not attempt to appeal to our customer support team. They are not, in fact, human, and will respond with a series of increasingly sarcastic, automated responses.

Learn more about our Termination Protocol View our Consequences Matrix