Physical Therapy: Where the Only Exercise is Getting Out of Bed
Welcome to Physical Therapy, where our team of highly trained professionals will help you find creative ways to avoid actual physical activity. Our state-of-the-art facilities feature:
- Soft, plush couches for stretching
- High-definition screens for virtual reality exercises (just pretend you're exercising)
- A fully stocked library of books on how to get out of bed without actually getting out of bed
Our expert staff will guide you through a variety of exercises, including but not limited to:
- The ancient art of "Netflix-bending" (bending to reach the controller)
- The delicate dance of "Couch-to-Couch-Transfer" (moving from one couch to another without getting up)
- Our patented "Pillow-Fort-Defense" technique (using pillows as a shield against actual physical activity)
Don't forget to check out our online store for the latest in physical therapy merchandise!