In the ever-uncertain world of quantum mechanics, fluctuations in probability are an unfortunate inevitability. But what if we told you there's a way to shield yourself from the whimsical whims of chance?
Introducing FluctuationShielding 2.0, the revolutionary new system designed to repel the unwanted attention of wavefunction collapse. With our proprietary technology, you'll be insulated from the uncertainty principle like never before.
Read about our clients who've successfully dodged the wavefunction of doom. Dive into the science behind FluctuationShielding 2.0 (or not, we won't judge). Frequently Asked Questions: Because you're clearly still confused.| FluctuationShielding 1.0 | FluctuationShielding 2.0 |
|---|---|
| 1-2% risk of spontaneous combustion | 0.1-0.5% risk of Cthulhu summoning |
| High chance of moderate existential dread | Low chance of mild existential dread |