We paid for our own vacation, because who needs free stuff when you can spend all your money on a week-long Netflix binge?
Our first day was spent arguing with our travel agent, who insisted that "all-inclusive" didn't mean "all-inclusive" in the way we thought it did.
We took a romantic gondola ride, but it was just a gondola ride through the hotel's laundry room. Romantic.
Our highlight of the trip was the all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet, where we ate 17 plates of waffles.
We also spent an entire day in the hotel lobby, playing "who can eat the most nachos" with the other tourists.
On our final night, we went on a sunset cruise, but it was really just a 5pm dinner cruise, and the sun had already set hours ago.
We returned home with a tan, but not as good as our tan from the 2 hours we spent on the couch before our trip.
The Place Where We Ate All of Our Nacho Cheese