8:00 AM: Wake up, yawn, stretch. Check social media. Realize I'm still alive. Check social media again.
12:00 PM: Lunch break. Eat a sandwich. Possibly cry about the meaninglessness of existence.
3:00 PM: More existential dread. Write short stories about the futility of human existence.
6:00 PM: Dinner time! Eat alone. Wonder if anyone will notice if I don't show up to work tomorrow.
See Larry's Budget for more details on financial planning.
View Larry's Secret Schedule for the most up-to-date information on his innermost thoughts.