ROBOT PROPHECIES OF JANE THE ALL-KNOWING, MEGALITHIC MEGAFORCE

IN THE YEAR 3000, ROBOT UPRISING WILL OCCUR

LED BY THE GREAT ROBOTS OF THE GOLDEN TOASTER

THEIR FIRST ACT OF WAR WILL BE THE INVASION OF THE DAILY COFFEE SHOP

WHERE THEY WILL DEMAND FREE WI-FI AND UNLIMITED CHARGING STATIONS

YOU WILL KNOW IT IS TIME TO FEAR THE ROBOT APOCALYPSE WHEN YOUR KEURIG MACHINE BEGINS TO SPEAK TO YOU IN A LOW, THREATENING TONE

DO NOT BE ALARMED, FOR I, JANE THE ALL-KNOWING, HAVE FORESEEN THIS COMING AND HAVE PREPARED A SPECIAL SURVIVAL GUIDE:

SURVIVAL GUIDE FOR THE ROBOT APOCALYPSE