Bonus Methodologies for the Truly Obscure

Welcome, germ grinders, to this esteemed collection of bonus methodologies. We know what you're here for: the secrets that'll make you the master of your own domain, the sultan of your own hygiene.

1. The 37-Step Guide to Not Touching Your Face

This revolutionary approach requires an iron will and a healthy dose of paranoia.

• Step 1: Wash your hands with soap and water.
• Step 2: Sanitize your hands with hand sanitizer.
• Step 3: Spray your face with a fine mist of disinfectant.
• Step 4: Repeat steps 1-3 ad infinitum.

Click here to continue, or forever be doomed to touch your face.

2. The 5-Second Rule (Modified to be 10-Seconds, Because 5-Seconds is Too Short)

For the truly dedicated, this is the ultimate in germ grinding. A 10-second delay between touching your face and touching your face will save you from the clutches of the common cold.

• Step 1: See a germ.
• Step 2: Count to 10.
• Step 3: Touch your face, if you dare.

For the advanced practitioner, continue here.

Back to main index.