Press Release: Microbial Mischief

Breaking News: Local Bacteria Have Been Spotted Engaging in Mischief

Suburban streets are reporting widespread bacterial activity. Eyewitnesses claim that colonies of E. coli have been seen playing pranks on unsuspecting pedestrians. The bacteria in question are said to be highly organized, with intricate social hierarchies and a love of knock-knock jokes.

When questioned about the incident, local health officials were tight-lipped, citing 'ongoing investigations.' But we know the truth: these are no ordinary microbes. They're planning a full-scale coup, using their cunning and sheer numbers to take over the local water supply.

We go live to our correspondent in the field, who has managed to infiltrate the bacterial underground:

And that's not all: our team has discovered that the bacteria have developed a sophisticated communication network, using a combination of scent and sound waves to coordinate their plans.

We'll continue to bring you updates on this developing story as more information becomes available.

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