Q: What is the Telekinetic Device?
Our top-of-the-line, totally-not-a-toaster device allows you to manipulate the physical world with your mind. It's like a cross between a hoverboard and a microwave, but, you know, more so.
Read the user manual to learn more.Q: Is it safe?
We've had zero reported incidents of spontaneous combustion, but our lawyers are on it.
Read the safety report to put your mind at ease.Q: Can I order one for my friend's birthday?
We're not really selling them yet, but we're considering a subscription-based model. Think of it as a monthly "I'm a functioning member of society" fee.
Preorder your "I'm-a-functioning-member-of-society" subscription today!