Automated Abandonment Protocols

Method 1: Abandonment by Procrastination

Simply put off all tasks indefinitely.

Example: "I'll do it tomorrow."

This method is highly effective, as it allows you to avoid any actual work.

Method 2: Abandonment by Distraction

Find the most interesting thing on the internet and focus on that.

Example: "I'm not abandoning my responsibilities, I'm just researching cat videos."

This method is highly adaptable, as it can be applied in any situation.

Method 3: Abandonment by Bureaucratic Red Tape

Fill out 17 pages of paperwork and 3 months of reports.

Example: "I'm sorry, I'm just waiting for my paperwork to process."

This method is highly effective, as it ensures that nothing gets done in the meantime.

Method 4: Abandonment by Overwhelmedness

Just tell people you're overwhelmed and can't handle it.

Example: "I'm sorry, I'm just really busy right now."

This method is highly effective, as it shifts all responsibility to someone else.

Conclusion

Remember, abandoning your responsibilities is a skill that takes practice.

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