Welcome to the Social Media Empire, where the only thing we're really good at is making you feel bad about yourself.

We're the largest, most popular social media platform in the galaxy, with over 10,000,000,000 users who can't stop scrolling.

Our algorithms are designed to keep you engaged, even if it's just with cat videos and memes.

But don't just take our word for it. Here's what some of our most loyal users have to say:

• "I've lost all sense of self-worth after 5 minutes of scrolling." - John D.
• "I've spent 12 hours a day on here and I'm starting to think I'm addicted." - Jane S.
• "I've forgotten how to make a phone call, but I can tell you about the latest celebrity drama." - Bob B.