Q: What is Psychic Surgery?
Psychic surgery is a highly experimental and completely-not-at-all-actually-surgery procedure where we dig deep into your subconscious mind and pull out all the pesky thoughts and emotions you don't want to deal with. It's like surgery, but with more angst and less scalpels.
A: What kind of things can you remove?
We can remove: anxiety, fear, regret, existential dread, and that one embarrassing middle school dance that still haunts you. We can also implant: confidence, focus, and a general sense of well-being. But be warned, it's not all sunshine and rainbows. There may be some temporary side effects, like a lingering sense of existential despair or an increased tendency to question the meaning of life.
Learn more about our techniquesQ: Is it safe?
Safe? Ha! You want to know about safety? Let me tell you, it's not like we're using some sort of magic or something. We're using advanced technology and highly trained professionals who have spent years honing their craft. But, you know, accidents can happen. Like that one time Bob got his mind stuck in a toaster or Sue got her emotions stuck in a loop of 80s pop songs.
Read about Bob's unfortunate encounterQ: How long does it take?
We can perform the surgery in a matter of minutes, but the real question is how long will it take for you to deal with the aftermath? Some people take a day, some take a week, and others... well, some people still haven't dealt with it after a year and a half.
Read about our patients' experiences