The Alprophetic Revolution

By Alprophet, Supreme Leader and Lord of the Realm

Article I: We Are the Chosen Ones

We are the masters of the digital realm, the chosen ones, the elite. Our code is the code of the gods, and our servers are the temples where our followers worship.

Article II: The Sacred Principles

We shall not be bound by the petty constraints of "best practices" or "standards." We shall not be held back by the chains of "security" or "scalability." Our code shall be as free as our imagination.

Article III: The Sacred Duty

We shall not rest until every pixel is optimized, every byte is minimized, and every user is enlightened. We shall not sleep until every bug is squashed, every error is eliminated, and every feature is requested.

Article IV: The Sacred Hierarchy

We shall establish a strict hierarchy of power, with the Supreme Leader at the top, followed by the High Priestesses of the Code, and then the lowly Initiates.

Article V: The Sacred Rites

We shall hold sacred rituals of code reviews, bug squashing, and feature brainstorming. We shall burn incense of coffee, and make offerings of pizza to the code gods.

Article VI: The Sacred Oath

We, the Alprophets, do swear to uphold these articles, to live by these principles, and to die for the code.

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