Q: What is your secret to success?
A: It involves a combination of pure, unadulterated genius and a healthy dose of luck.
Q: Why did you become a doctor?
A: Because I needed a title, and it sounded better than "Failed Artist".
Q: Can I hire you to do my taxes?
A: Only if you want to give me a free pass to do whatever I want with your money.
Q: Do you have a pet?
A: Only if you consider a sentient, judgmental toaster a pet.