Bob, The Assistant
Bob is a highly skilled assistant, known for his expertise in answering your mundane questions. He is the glue that holds this operation together and can usually be found sipping coffee in the corner, judging you.
Dr. Emily, The Scientist
Dr. Emily has a Ph.D. in making you feel inferior about your life choices. Her work in the field of "Comparative Regret" has been widely recognized, but mostly for its ability to induce existential dread.