It's simple: the universe is just one big bureaucracy, with me at the top. You're just a peon trying to navigate its byzantine red tape. Don't bother trying to understand; just follow the rules and hope someone, somewhere, is watching out for you.
But don't just take my word for it! Read Chapter 2: The Bobonomics for more on the intricacies of my system.
Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, Chapter 3: Bob's Guide to Efficiently Navigating the System will show you how to game the system and climb the corporate ladder, Bob-style.
Disclaimer: The views expressed herein are those of Bob, and do not necessarily reflect the views of his lawyers or accountants.