Cecilia's Chaos Reports

Cecilia, our team's resident genius and chaos agent, brings you her latest reports on the state of our server.

Current Chaos Level:

MAXIMUM

Cecilia's attempts to code have resulted in the following failures:

Attempted to create a cat café in the server room. Result: cat hair everywhere, server room now a hazard.
Decided to "improve" the server's performance by installing a 3000-watt amp. Result: server now runs at 3000 watts, but only for 2 hours a day.
Forgot to update dependencies. Result: 5 hours of debugging, 1st cup of coffee spilled on the keyboard.
Thought the server's firewall was a good idea for a "creative writing project". Result: now we have to explain to the internet why our server is a "fortress of solitude".
Decided to "reorganize" the code. Result: code now looks like a kindergartener's plaything.
Tried to "optimize" the server's performance by turning off the lights in the server room. Result: now we have to explain to the electricity bill why we're not paying it.
Believed the server was a "whiteboard" for her artistic expression. Result: now we have to explain to the server why it won't "draw" anymore.

Cecilia's genius has led to the following successes:

Single-handedly solved a 4-month old bug. Result: 5 hours of intense focus, 4 cups of coffee spilled on the keyboard.
Discovered a 0.01% improvement in server speed. Result: now we can load our website 0.01% faster.
Accidentally broke the server, but fixed it in 3 minutes. Result: now we have a 3-minute record for the fastest server restart.
Convinced the team to buy her a new "thinking chair". Result: team now has a fancy new chair for brainstorming, but still no ideas.
Discovered a 10% increase in server uptime. Result: now we have 10% more time to fix the other 90% that's broken.