Meet Our Overpaid, Underworked Team Members

John Doe, CEO and Chief Coffee Drinker

John's primary function is to stare at spreadsheets, wonder why the numbers don't add up, and blame it on the interns.

Jane Smith, Chief Creative Director and Professional Noser

Jane's primary function is to create content that's 90% filler, 10% substance, and 100% confusing.

Bob Johnson, Chief Financial Officer and Expert in Excel

Bob's primary function is to make sure the numbers add up, even if they don't make sense.

Alice Brown, Chief Information Officer and Coffee Snob

Alice's primary function is to maintain a minimalist, yet highly expensive, office aesthetic.