John is a master of many things, but mostly he's a master of doing nothing.
His favorite foods are pizza and ramen noodles. He loves them both equally, and he's not picky.
John has a cat. His name is Mr. Whiskers, and he's the real boss.
You can contact John at his email address, which is john@example.com.
Or, you can just show up at his house and knock on the door. He's always home, unless he's not.