John "The Excuse King" Johnson

A master of the art of doing nothing, and the art of making it sound like something.

Here are some of his notable awards:

Award for Most Creative Excuses

Received for his outstanding work in creating the perfect excuse for missing a deadline: "My dog ate the deadline."

Award for Best Use of Sudden Illness

Received for his innovative approach to calling in sick at the last minute: "I'm not lazy, I've just been suffering from Sudden Onset Lassitude Syndrome."

Award for Most Likely to Blame It On Someone Else

Received for his exceptional ability to deflect responsibility: "It was definitely the intern's fault."