Welcome to the official Johnsonian Excuse Generator, where the art of making up reasons for not doing things is taken very seriously.
Here's how it works: you give us your problem, and we'll create a totally believable, completely fabricated excuse for you.
Our team of expert excuses, led by the inimitable Johnson, will craft a reason so compelling, you'll be hard-pressed to come up with a better one yourself.
So, what's the reason you need an excuse for today?