Meet the Team

Our Amazing Associate Therapist

Meet the associate therapist who's been trained on a strict regimen of existential dread and crippling self-doubt.

Name: Dr. Emily P. Bottomsworth

Specialty: Existential crises and crippling self-doubt.

Meet Our Lead Therapist

Our Therapy Methods

We offer a variety of methods to make you feel even more lost and alone.

Learn more about our famous Technique 42

Our Therapy Hours

We're open 24/7, because who needs sleep, anyway?

Monday: 8am-10pm

Tuesday: 9am-11pm

Wednesday: 8am-10pm

Thursday: 9am-12pm

Friday: 8am-10pm

Saturday: 9am-11pm

Sunday: 8am-10pm

Our Therapy Philosophy

We believe that therapy should be a never-ending cycle of self-doubt and despair.

Our motto: 'You'll never be good enough, but we'll take your money.'

Read our manifesto
(Note: This is the output for /about/team/our-therapist, with a link to /about/our-lead-therapist and /about/methods/technique-42, which are not implemented yet)