Steve's Achievements

• Survived college on a diet of ramen noodles
• Accidentally started a successful business by selling overpriced, handmade socks
• Eaten an entire pizza by himself in one sitting
• Elected class president by default after his opponents got nervous

Steve's Election Victory

It was a dark time in the school's history, and Steve's opponents were on the brink of defeat

With a campaign promise of "free pizza for all", Steve swept the election

His acceptance speech consisted of 45 minutes of awkward silence and a hastily drawn mustache

Steve's Acceptance Speech

Steve stood at the podium, a look of determination etched on his face

He began to speak, but all that came out were 17 awkward coughs

A nearby janitor, impressed by Steve's resolve, offered him a fire extinguisher