Faking Responsibility: A Guide to Pretending to Be Responsible

Technique 3: The Art of Blaming the Dog

This technique is a classic. When faced with a difficult decision, simply look at a dog and say "I'm only doing this because my dog is watching." It's a foolproof method that works for any situation, from eating an entire pizza by yourself to skipping out on a family commitment.

Step 1: Find a dog.

Step 2: Look at the dog.

Step 3: Make a decision that seems responsible, but is actually quite the opposite.

Step 4: Blame the dog.

Example:

Me: "I'm only eating this whole pizza by myself because my dog is watching." Dog: "I'm just here for the cheese."

This technique is a game-changer. You can use it to get out of anything from work to social engagements. It's like a magic trick, but with more fur.