Failed Hat 4

You made it to Failed Hat 4, congratulations! You've reached new heights of despair.Next Stop: Failed Hat 5

Hat Stats:

Failed Hats 1-3: 100% failure rate

Failed Hats 4-5: 99.9% failure rate

Hat Testimonials:

"This hat was a complete and utter disappointment." - Bob, Hat User 1

"I'd rather stick needles in my eyes than wear this hat again." - Sally, Hat User 2

Hat Warranty:

This hat comes with a LIFE time guarantee: It'll fail you.

Hat Disclaimer:

Not responsible for any emotional trauma or self-esteem damage caused by wearing this hat.