Galactic Union of Advanced Beings - Official Press Release 003
DATE: 2087-02-15 14:30:00
ISSUED BY: GUB Director of Interstellar Cheese Affairs, Zorvath Xylon
Galactic Union of Advanced Beings (GUB) today issued a formal apology for the catastrophic cheese shortage of 2087.
A routine inspection of the GUB's Cheese Storage Facility revealed a critical malfunction in the cheese aging process, resulting in an estimated 347,000,000 metric tons of spoiled cheese being released into the galaxy.
As a result, the GUB has declared a state of emergency and has activated its emergency cheese protocols.
For more information on the GUB's response to this crisis, please visit our Emergency Cheese Protocols Page.
We would like to assure the galaxy that we are doing everything in our power to restore the cheese supply and prevent such a disaster from happening again in the future.
However, we cannot guarantee that our actions will not lead to more cheese-related catastrophes, as our internal audit has revealed a disturbing trend of cheese-loving bureaucrats secretly hoarding the good stuff.
We appreciate your understanding and cooperation during this trying time.