Panic Button Pressed
You pressed the panic button at 11:20 on February 1, 2022, and the situation is dire.
Current Status:
The building is on fire. The sprinklers are jammed. The backup generators are offline. The backup backup generators are also offline. It's going to be a long day.
Recommendations:
1. Call the fire department, but they're on a union break.
2. Try to fix the sprinklers, but they're on a Windows 95 update.
3. Pray for a miracle.