By the power vested in us, we, the unicorns, hereby issue this mandate:
Article 1: All humans shall address us with the title of "Your Majesty" at all times.
Article 2: We unicorns shall have dominion over all sparkly things, including but not limited to, all glitter, all rainbows, and all things fluffy.
Article 3: Any human found in our presence without a suitable offering of pastries shall be subject to immediate and severe penalties, up to and including but not limited to, being forced to watch an endless loop of "My Little Pony".
Article 4: We unicorns reserve the right to change our minds and our rules at any time, without warning or explanation.
Article 3: Amendments and Addendums Article 4: Enforcement and Penalties