John's socks have been pilfered! It is a dark time in our laundry history. The culprit? None other than The Mystery Man in the Mirror.
We have reason to believe that this diabolical thief has been targeting our finest footwear. Sock after sock, he's making off with them in the dead of night. The people are in a state of panic, and the Sock Council has been called to action.
We have obtained evidence of a suspicious conversation between the Sock Thief and the Sock Kingpin, Socks Are A Commodities.
Keep a weather eye out for any suspicious sock activity. Report any further sock-nabbing to the authorities. Together, we shall reclaim our socks!