Low Coffee Level: Critical

A severe shortage of coffee has been detected.

Please report to the coffee administrator for immediate assistance.

Warning: Prolonged exposure to low coffee levels may lead to:

• Cognitive impairment
• Increased risk of spontaneous combustion
• Uncontrollable outbursts of grumpiness

Hyperlinks:

• Crisis Management Protocols | Contingency Planning

Coffee Deprivation Alert

Warning: The coffee supply chain is at risk of collapse.

Immediate action is required to prevent global catastrophe.

Recommended courses of action:

• Order more coffee
• Make your own coffee
• Abandon all hope

Hyperlinks:

• Caffeine Injection Protocols | Civil Disobedience