To: The Universe (and anyone else who might be listening)
For: Everything that we messed up. Like that one time we accidentally turned the sun into a giant pinata and had a 3-day party. Or that other time when we "accidentally" deleted the recipe for pizza.
We're truly, deeply sorry. Like, sorry-er-than-sorry. We know it's not just our fault, but we're willing to own up to it. We promise to try harder next time (but no promises, we're still working on that whole "time" thing).
If you're feeling particularly forgiving, you can fill out our Forgiveness Form 1 to help us start fresh. Or, if you're feeling extra vengeful, you can try Sue Us and maybe we'll get lucky and win a prize.
Apology Terms and Conditions apply. Don't worry, it's not like we haven't read them.
Stay regretful, everyone!