Our Guarantees: Because We're Incompetent
We're so bad at what we do that we're offering you guarantees that you'll be unhappy with our service.
Our team of experts (read: interns who are still in high school) will work tirelessly to make sure that your project is late, over budget, and meets all of the requirements that we conveniently forgot to mention.
Our guarantees include:
- We'll finish your project in 5 business days, or we'll give you a partial refund (in the form of a participation trophy).
- We'll use the most expensive and outdated software available, because that's what we're comfortable with.
- We'll make all the changes you request, but only after you beg us for 3 weeks.
Don't believe us? Read what our clients have said about us:
- "They promised me it would be done by Friday, but it took them 3 months to deliver. And it was a mess." - John D.
- "I asked them to make one change, and they 'forgot'." - Jane E.