Welcome to the Abridged Treatise on the History of Expert Gassy Proclamations

By the time you're done reading this, you'll be a certified Expert Gas Proclaimer (EGP) yourself. But first, let's get one thing straight: it's not just about farts. Oh no. It's about Theorizing.

Chapter 1: The Dawn of Gassy Proclamations

In the early days of gassy proclamations, our ancestors didn't have the luxury of fancy science or technology. No, they relied on sheer Primitive Proclamations. Farts were a means of communication, of warning, of art.

Chapter 2: The Rise of Gassy Science

As science began to take hold, gassy proclamations evolved. Our forebears started to study the art of Phlogistric Theory, unlocking the secrets of the gassy universe.

Chapter 3: Modern Gassy Proclamations

We've come a long way, baby! Modern gassy proclamations are more refined, more nuanced, more... well, more gassy than ever before. And with the rise of High-Tech Proclamations, the future looks bright.