More Questions Asked by People Who Clearly Have Too Much Time

Q: Why do our gas farts smell like a mix of burnt rubber and despair?

A: That's just the scent of our competitors' desperation. Ours is a bouquet of success.

Q: Can I use our gas to propel my Prius to new heights of mediocrity?

A: Ha! Our gas is not for the timid or environmentally conscious. It's for those who crave the rush of burning fossil fuels and the stench of their own mortality.

Q: Do I need to consult a medical professional before using your gas?

A: Only if you're allergic to confidence, self-respect, or basic human decency. Our gas is a gift from the gods of productivity, and you're just along for the ride.

More Questions We'd Like to Answer (But Probably Won't)